But what is need?

We would all agree that we need food to survive, but do we “need” the deluxe food processor or blender? If food goes bad in our fridge week after week, did we “need” it after all? And that handful of chips I had with lunch. Did I “need” that?

The reason that Béa didn’t just write “refuse what you do not need or want” is that wants are such a slippery target. I think we’ve all experienced this at some point. You go into a store to buy something specific, but then you see all sorts of beautiful things around you, a desire you didn’t have before is awakened. Suddenly, you’re less content and left wanting more.

Needs are finite and wants can be infinite. So do we just ignore all of our wants and live in tents, cooking over a fire, what we’ve foraged from the woods?

As much as I adore camping, I don’t think this is the answer. There are so many wonders that humans bring to this world when we’re not over consumed by acts of mere survival. Along with camping, I’m also a big fan of the Internet.

So, how do we go about managing our wants so that they don’t overwhelm us? Kids are often overwhelmed with their wants. Take a kid to a gas station filled with candy, maybe one that also sells ice cream. See what happens. Or a toy store, same picture.

Some parents will choose to just avoid the situation in the first place: don’t take the kids to the toy or candy stores, don’t bake cookies if they’re not on the menu. Get upset with the school district when they serve chocolate milk and pizza with a side of chips for lunch.

This is because prowess in decision making for young children is under-developed. It’s the same reason kid vitamins taste good but the adult counterparts can be tough to swallow. Adults can see cause and effect better, have more experiences with consequences and global repercussions and are more likely to be goal oriented.

Step 1: Determine Your Vision

The most important step in determining your “enough” will be to set goals for yourself. Do you want to be a nomad? Do you want to live out of a van or in a tiny home? Do you want a chic, white walled studio apartment decorated with green plants and little else? Or are your goals a little more conventional? Maybe, like me, you’d just like to keep a clean, clutter free home that reduces waste and optimizes family income.

Along with your goals, you’ll want to identify your motivation. What motivates you to refuse and reduce the incoming stuff in your life can vary. Perhaps you’d like to get out of debt, relieve clutter problems, or live more sustainably. Perhaps it’s a combination of things.

Step 2: Set Your Limits

I can’t sing the praises of limits enough, it seems. I’ve experienced immediate transformation of mindset just by pinning a maximum number or by allotting a certain space for things. When I had no magic numbers for my clothes, my satisfaction went up and down with my boredom or the proximity to laundry day. As soon as I told myself that four bottoms was enough for a season, I had to pick and choose from my favorites. I no longer felt deprived but instead over-abundant.

Step 3: Avoid Your Triggers

Sometimes we just have to parent ourselves a bit. Do you always overspend at the mall? Maybe trade mall shopping for going for a movie or taking a hike instead. Does the media you consume support or detract from your goals? I like to watch YouTube videos by extreme minimalists for inspiration about how little I actually need. It is much different from watching a show where beautiful actresses prance around in expensive clothes in expensive homes portraying the average American.

I have the guilty habit of online shopping on pay day. I love the satisfaction of picking just the right things out and then waiting eagerly for the mail to come. When it gets here, it’s a nice little high. Admitting you have a problem, I hear, is the first step.

Your Homework:

Now, get out a pen and a notebook. Write down everything you own. Every item in every drawer.

What’s that? Is the idea ludicrous to you? You, like me, wouldn’t consider wasting your time in this way? Chances are, then, that you have “enough” stuff.  Maybe, if you were especially terrified by the sound of this assignment, you have more than enough.