Night Visitors ~ Fiction by Gary Catt

From the depths of sleep, Robert’s eyes flipped open like a thrown switch. His fight or flight response went instantly to high alert. But it only made his eyes flare wider. He was frozen in place — on his back — pressure on his chest forcing his body deep into the mattress; his legs unable to get the message that he wanted to spring from his bed to escape.

There was movement across the room. Two images were waggling closer like walking bobble heads.

“Oh my god!” Robert’s head exploded. He tried to close his eyes to avoid what was about to happen.

“You’re a disappointment, Robert.” The speaker was leaning over him. Opalescent onyx, almond-shaped eyes loomed over Robert’s face. “We wouldn’t be here if you weren’t such a screw up.”

The creatures were back. Robert believed his last encounter with the bug-eyed, gray-skinned men was fueled by his appetite for pot and vodka. He was mistaken.

Now they were back. And they were pissed.

“Do you remember our agreement, Robert?”

He did. It was Robert’s “Oh, shit” moment.

Finding himself able to speak, Robert tried desperately to recall the instructions from his first meeting with the beings. “I just remember you said to go do important stuff.”

The two invaders looked at each other, their almond-shaped eyes rolled in their sockets as they chattered to each other in a language Robert could hear only in his head. It was then it dawned on him that the two had no lips. Everything was going on inside his head.

“I did do important stuff,” said Robert — who was at the moment ransacking his brain for a copy of his resume. “I figured out how to increase the heat and decrease the cooking time for burgers without burning. I designed new uniforms that didn’t make our servers appear to be wrapped in sausage casings…I cut staff and increased earnings by economizing here and there…. I learned how to change my own oil….”

“For crying out loud, Robert, stop!” It was clear his recitation wasn’t meeting expectations. “Let me walk you through what brought us to today. We found you, panicked and pants-less on a dark road in the middle of winter and saved you.”

“That was a misunderstanding,” Robert interjected.

“Pay attention.”

Robert felt a distinct squeeze on this throat. He opened his mouth to protest, but no sound emerged.

“We found you,” the thing continued, “and took you to our craft to see if you were injured. You weren’t. So, we figured we might be able to use you to re-create a little history.

“For thousands of years we’ve visited this place and on occasion we selected individuals and empowered them to advance this poor excuse of a civilization. There was Akhenaten and Nefertiti in Egypt, some men in Mexico and more recently Elon Musk.

“So, since we had you,  it was determined — mistakenly we now know — that with a little assist you might channel your civilization in the right direction. We increased your mental acuity, suggested great projects and what happened? You became a burger jockey. You must make better use of the skills you’ve been given. Or else.”

Robert wasn’t given the opportunity to ask what ‘or else’ meant as the two creatures were gone in a couple wobbles.

His faculties restored with their absence, Robert sat on the edge of his bed trying to shake out his experience. To his way of thinking he hadn’t betrayed the gray men, but he didn’t want to tell them everything because the success he did have, he wanted to keep for himself.

Robert decided that to protect his secret, he’d have to run…get away. He flicked on the bedroom lights. “Giuliana! Come here.” There was a pause and as if by itself, his closet door, locked from the inside, appeared to open itself.

Out stepped Robert’s secret creation, 5’2,” blue eyes, blonde, with pale skin in great contrast to bright red Victoria Secret lingerie.

“We need to get away, Giuliana. Pack my suitcase for extended travel, locate your trunk and, oh, make sure you pack me a phillips screwdriver.